I didn’t think I was the type to care for milestones… Until a couple of months ago.
We’re sitting in a team meeting at work, talking about personal and business wins for the week. My personal win? Cara and I just passed 18 years of being together!
But the part that stabbed me in the gut was this: I’ve been with her longer than some of the guys on the team have been ALIVE. I’m not young anymore.
And with my career, it’s hard not to question “where did the time go?”
Or the more painful question, “what do I have to show for it?”
If our scale of life is about money, status, and “success”, it’s hard not to feel behind. But even though that’s not MY scale, I still felt off.
Then last week the knife twisted in my side again because I’m constantly around type-A achievers talking about 5 year goals…
“Where do you want to be in 5 years?”
“What do you want to have?”
“What do you want to do?”
In 5 years? I’ll be 40! Like holy shit.
So this milestone is making me question, what do I want?
Most people focus on acquiring things. A few people talk about experiences. I realized that my priorities are actually a little different.
I could care less about having.
Success to me is more about doing, feeling, and being.
Committing to work that calls me.
And finding work that helps me understand my self and what it means to be human.
It’s about being in the flow every day and creating value that sustains life.
So why does it hurt to think about getting older?
I’m on the home stretch to 40 and still not living life to the fullest.
And this milestone is helping me see the pattern:
That I’ve only ever tiptoed into my dreams.
At 15 I wanted to be an X-Games BMX athlete.
At 20 I wanted to be a rockstar.
At 25 I wanted to be a marketing consultant.
At 30 I wanted to be a social entrepreneur.
I touched these for a time. And If I’m honest, I was afraid to go all in and fail. I kept my ego safe by half-assing it.
Today I’m 35. I’m a writer, but not to the fullest expression of me. So I know what I’m pushing for before I turn 40.
If you follow along, you’ll pick up on where I’m going. You’ll see me change, and my goals will probably change too.
That’s because the destination isn’t the point.
It’s about listening to that inner voice and acting on it. Every minute. Every day.
Following the flow of life and what calls me.
And if I do that for the next 1827 days, I’ll be 40, and look back to thank myself for not holding back.
